LESSON 6.9 The Troublemaker

Location

Readers can’t see what you see, so it’s important to use words that paint a picture. Where were you – exactly? Don’t just say “old building,” tell us if it’s made of bricks or has a creaky door. The more details you give, the more your story comes alive.

Task 2.10.2 – Small Group

• Where did you meet the troublemaker?
• Where exactly?
• What was the weather like?
• What were the surroundings like?
• Were there trees? What kind?
• What does the troublemaker look like – exactly? If he is a dog, for instance, is he big? How big is he? What kind of dog is he? What color is his fur – exactly?
• What did he/she/it say to you?
• What did you say?
• What kind of emotional feeling did you have?

The teacher will write down the answers in no special order.

As you and your group ask and answer questions, have someone write down the answers, in no particular order.  The result will look like a grocery list.

Sensory Details

Imagine you have a special camera that not only can see what things look like, but it can also hear sounds, smell smells, and even taste things.

You have to be precise when using sensory details. Instead of saying things are just “amazing” or “beautiful,” tell us exactly what makes them so special.

So what else can this camera sense in the scene?

• What types of plants and animals are nearby? If, for instance, there are birds, then what type of birds are they?
• What is the name of the nearest building? What does it look like?
• Exactly what is the weather like? Saying sunny does not help readers see it. How does the weather make you feel?
• If you are eating cereal, for example, what is its name? What does it tell us about you if you’re eating Count Chocula rather than raisin bran?